20 Things I Learned My First Year of Momhood
- Jess
- Jun 9, 2018
- 4 min read
Finley turned one earlier this week, and I'm all in my feelings. (Obviously!) It's interesting and emotional to think about how far we've come. All of the struggles to have a baby were SO worth it. Finley is an incredible gift to our family. She MADE me a mama, and I will be forever grateful for all that she has taught me so far. Here are some things I've learned in my first year of momhood:
Giving birth is HARD work, but so worth it. In fact, it’s so worth it, that I hardly remember the pain and will happily go through it all over again.
Having a solid, strong relationship with your partner has to be a top priority.
Kids are gross and beautiful all at the same time.
Taking your baby out in public as soon and often as possible is a good thing! While I was on maternity leave, Finley and I went out almost every day. We started taking her out to dinner with us at 2 weeks old.
Streaming services like Netflix have really made those pesky night feedings more bearable. I binged every season of Dawson’s Creek while feeding my precious angel every 2 hours during her 6 week growth spurt. #teampacey
Taking time for yourself is imperative. You will feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself because this tiny creature needs you ALL. THE. TIME. (especially in the beginning) Make a conscious effort to find time for yourself. Whether it’s a walk, a new skin care routine, reading a book, a special treat at the end of the day... do something every day just for you.
You will be exhausted in the beginning, but you WILL sleep again.
Swaddling a baby can be tricky. My husband struggled, but these made it super easy.
You can be a new mama and shower daily. A friend of mine asked if I went long stretches of time without showering when Finley was really young. She had heard that many mamas are just too busy and/or tired to shower. My answer: nope, I showered daily... sometimes twice a day when I first started nursing. Now... let me be clear: I am not shaming any mamas who did in fact go long stretches without showering. I’m just saying that I made showering a priority because it relaxed me — it was part of my self-care routine (followed by red wine and dark chocolate in bed).
A good nursing cover is important. I LOVE this Kids N' Such Nursing Cover. It's a game changer!
Being on maternity leave can feel isolating, but consider yourself lucky. You have been given this incredible opportunity to snuggle your baby as often as you’d like. This stage will pass so quickly — try to cherish it and take time to hold on to the those precious moments and scribe them to memory.
Asking for help is ok and necessary. You can’t do it all. Seriously. You think you can, and you really want to, but you physically cannot be everything all the time for that baby. You have an amazing partner and support system. USE THEM. Ask them to watch the baby while you take a nap; ask them to bring over meals or a sanity treat; ask your partner to rub your back or feet (or both); ask for help!
Going back to work after maternity leave can create both a sense of guilt and relief. It sucked having to leave my baby with complete strangers so I could go back to work. #babysgottaeat BUT I loved reuniting with my amazing coworkers and being a real human person who has conversation again.
Mommy guilt is a very real thing, but there’s a whole community of mamas who are feeling the exact same way — so don’t sweat it too much.
Old remotes, formula cans, boxes and tupperware are great (and cheap) toys.
You can be a parent and have a social life, go on vacations, go shopping, take a shower, take a poop... all sans baby! It IS possible.
Poop is a frequent topic of conversation. Color, consistency, frequency... poop will make you cheer, and poop will make you cry (or at least tear up as you fight the urge to vomit while changing a shitty diaper).
Being kind to yourself is crucial. You will feel like you’re failing and that you’re a shitty parent. That’s a lie. You have a beautiful, healthy, happy baby that proves that you're rocking this whole parent thing. You’re kicking ass!
Routine, routine, routine. Introducing a routine early on did wonders for us and and for Finley. And by early on, I mean around 3 months. Fin loves her crib and actually likes to take naps. We are able to lay her in the crib when she's wide awake, and she's fast asleep in just a few minutes. It's great!
Every day, my heart overflows with an unending amount of love for my child. I knew I’d love her, I just didn’t realize how freakin’ much. It is so overwhelming and powerful. It changes everything... and it’s amazing. I am blessed beyond measure.
Quoted: “Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.” – Tina Fey
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